Mysteries of the Universe

As i sit here, eating a delicious, yet rather dry muffin from Netto, i'm forced to ponder a few mysteries that have been on my mind lately.

Mmm crappy Netto Muffin

Mystery no.1; In my particular area of Aachen there are quite the abundance of homeless people, wandering the streets looking for Pfand, booze and Kleingeld. Actually, there's pretty much an abundance all over Germany...as far as I can tell...but thats another story

Anyway, aside from the sheer number of them, another thing has been baffling me. Namely, where the hell are they getting all their puppies from? 

Everyday, these unemployed, homeless and therefore presumably poor chaps have another brand new, shiny puppy (normally a black lab or German Sheppard). How the fuck are they getting them? Who's breeding these dogs? Where are they getting the money to buy them/feed em etc

If you've ever had a dog, you'll know that they are fucking expensive, normally costing 300€ minimum just to buy one, then another 100€ minimum per month just to feed them.

$$$ Just like furry gold $$$

Now your first assumption might be that these homeless guys are the one's breeding the dogs, hell...maybe they even meet up to have puppy parties or something...frankly that would be awesome.

Or maybe your thinking, that they don't in fact feed these dogs well, and therefore save on costs at the expense of the dogs malnutritioned life....well that what i'd have thought too, if it weren't for the fact that these dogs look really healthy, seem really well trained and generally happy.

See...he's having a great time

Who knows? Perhaps these 'apparently' homeless people are actually highly successful dog breeders who have simply chosen the lifestyle of begging on the streets and drinking outside Rossmann....Speaking of which...

Mystery no.2; the local Penner in my area enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like drinking piss-lager whilst standing outside Rossmann and Netto in the freezing cold....with their dogs. 

Now even though I suppose they aren't doing any real harm, it still mistifies me that this group of 20 or so bums are allowed to just sit there, get wasted and occasionally shout obscenities at passers by...followed by haben vielleicht Sie Kleingeld? oder Pfandflasche?

It's not just tolerated, its almost encouraged:-

Anyone familiar with Netto will know just how bad the service can be in there...z.B only one till open while 30 people wait to pay and 3 other members of staff stand around stacking extra pork products or some such useless shit.

However, as i discovered yesterday, the bums have the power simply to grab whatever crappy bier they want, march right up to and empty counter and slur out a demand for immediate service, at which a member of staff will promptly come over, ring them up and then close the counter again.
ERM YOU WHAAAT?

Another valued Netto customer

The fact that they're supporting these blokes addiction is one thing...but actively encouraging it with special treatment? The mind boggles....I can only assume they do it to keep them sated, god forbid they sober up for even a second and get their lives together and...wash.........speaking of which..

Mystery no.3; When exactly did Laundromats (i.e Waschsalons) stop being cool? 

If Friends has taught me anything (and it certainly has taught us all a whole funkload) it's that launderettes are trendy social hubs where you can meet all kinds of people. 

Except that's not what its like for me at all, it's depressing, boring and basically a homeless shelter.

Why doesn't this ever happen in Aachen?

Even Cafe Waschsalon, the laundromat themed restaurant/bar in Köln, sucks and is always menschenleer. 

Having said that, Cleanicum (awesome name), the launderette/skate shop/cafe, is a pretty sweet combo that sells awesome stuff, like toast related clothing

I bought this T-shirt immediately

So there you have it...some mysteries have been pondered..kind of....actually this was more like another one of my mindless rants....but you know..scheisse darauf

 I finished my reading Russendisko the other day (cheers to Colin for lending me it) and it really inspired me to do some writing, hence this crappy post. I'l admit on read through its not one of my best, so once again I offer up pictures of puppies as a plea bargain or sorts.....

Weren't expecting these puppies, were you?

Still keeping it PG-13 Bitches!