Mild Thrills

so turns out the cherry backy ive been smoking is pipe tobacco, which i pretty much assumed it to be when i bought it, plus its a pain in the ass to roll up..that was another clue.
BUT the biggest surprise so far is just how friggin strong this stuff is, seriously two tiny rollies today gave me the biggest nicotine buzz ever...then i felt a bit sick...but that might have been the donuts i bought. Either way im buying a bag of lucky strike to mix it with (because you can here, which is awesome) :D

In other news I met a teacher called Jews Finke, no seriously.....I had to hold back the giggles alot today, especially when the pupils were discussing past/present etc forms of verbs which resulted in a good 5mins of them shouting I COME and YOU CAME at each other....judging by how much i grinned uncontrollably i think its safe to say im becoming more immature.
All of this has culminated in me feeling a bit useless today as i'm not really helping much in school, which wouldn't be a problem if my German was at least improving but it seems to be getting worse (if thats even possible?) Ive resided to telling people i speak a clumsy mix of german and english...im calling it Esperandeutsch

Nevertheless the flat situation is coming along swimmingly, and even though costs seem to be mounting...at least il be moving in soon, plus we got the internet and power sorted today, 16mbit ultd woooop piracy here i come.

 That's right i live above a casino

One last thing occurs; the worse of an English teacher i am, the less likely it will be that my pupils find their way to this blog and can understand me taking the piss....score

Oh God its started!

The little Schüler buggers are trying to add me on facebook, should have given them a fake name or something...i could have been Mr Gonzalez the language assistant :P
Oh well, reject request, reject request, reject request.....massively increase privacy settings usw

OKTOBERFEST

was insane! Travelling half way across Germany for one day of mayhem might sound like a stupid idea...because it is, but none the less absolutely worth it
I don't remember much, i assume i blacked out after around the 4th or so maß bier
Its safe to say we made a good impression for the english, by being rowdy, loud and annoying...constantly forcing ourselves onto other peoples tables and drawing crap all over each other...mostly offensive german crap which went down brilliantly.

It could of been such a disaster, with lack of table booking, accomodation and mitfahr car sharing all increasing the rape factor...not to mention no lederhosen! but somehow it all just worked out :D i say its all down to the good company i had the pleasure sharing my oktober experience with....and also the sweet sweet hat i bought and lost immediately

 it really was so good

Gonna be tough to top this weekend, and the resulting hangover...at least i have a day off tomorrow :D
nur zwei Woche bis Amsterdam!

German school kids = as weird as you'd imagine

Seriously, bat shit fuckin weird......sometimes they meow at me
Z.B today during maths the kids were drawing pictures...yes maths......and one girl was drawing a rabbit warren (and calculating its circumference presumably), it was all very schöne und süsse, then she went on to draw a fox, which killed all the rabbits.......frankly i found her laughter during all this terrifying.

In other news Deutsche Post are twats and still havent delivered half the shit im expecting in terms of debit cards usw, which means access to money is somewhat...limited, so im having to put off paying my flat deposit as long as possible.
BUT none of this matters because im going to OKTOBERFEST tomorrow! 

 My only regret is that I dont have Lederhosen...but i do have a sweet hat :D

Who said the Germans were efficient?

You don't have to be in germany to know that their smoked meat eating, nice beer drinking, pickle absolutely everything - culture loves a bit of bureaucracy.

Well...this week has been somewhat of an exception. Outside of filing out the standard crossing the road permission forms, and having to show my passport in order to buy everything from an AK-47 to a sandwich, I was shocked by the lack of organisation at a German uni this week
I have been failing to anmelden the uni in Aachen for about a week and half now, to try and get my hands on the fabled (and i assume gold plated) semester ticket = free travel in NRW! . It seems that not a single employee at this place could correctly advise their own heads out of their asses. None of them have a clue, or any personality and keep continuing to  hand me from department to department....until it hits 12.45 and then they all fucking close...
However..today my British pluck finally folded and i lost my rag...which resulted in me shouting a bit in garbled German (with a strong Esssssseeeexxx accent) which believe it or not actually resulted in success! Finally one of the employees managed to pick up the phone and actually call the PAAD to verify my status as a Gäststudent (or some bollocks). So after a lengthy conversation comprised of many "oh ja..ja...ja...genau" (as if he had a fucking clue what was going on) the bloke finally hung up and turned to me.

I was expecting something along the lines of

"Sorry, you were right, you don't have to pay €500 for the Semester Ticket...here it is, also heres my car keys and citizenship for being such a useless german"

Instead i he said something like this,

"Sorry, you were right, it is possible...just not here because (insert bullshit reason). Try some other higher education institution...NEXT!"

What a bunch of c***s

I proceeded to get my revenge by chilling in the sun with other students, rolling cherry tobacco and listening to this  

And suddenly everything was better ;)

.....I also definitely just decided to take the rest of the day off school..not sure how well that went down :P

So im starting a blog

because i can...and there's far too much hilarity here not to record, plus its bound to useful for all this reflecting we are supposed to be doing at the end of year.

So i will be spontaneously updating this from time to time with odd musings, rare tales and hilarious crap from germany

like this

 

As a result there's not likely to be a lot of continuity here, or any kind of story at all...more just little rants and recordings of stuff i managed to remember long enough to write down.

Of course others may stumble upon this when i loudly tell them about it and they are more than welcome to read, but its mostly for me....and my ego